And That's Why I Smile

 

I met an opera singer, an internationally famous tenor, who told me anyone can be a great singer with the right training, just as one can at almost anything. However, it wasn't I who mastered the art of singing in my family. That was my dad, also a tenor and, to be honest, one who OUGHT to be internationally famous. But despite the fact he can easily outshine anyone else in a room with that voice, it was I who was the first to perform internationally. Go figure!

In the last week I've been on live TV and sung in front of an audience.

Ok, ok, to be fair I was merely a live audience member in the first instance, and I was singing karaoke in the second. But to be doubly fair, it was also my first time doing both!

Another novelty for me living in London is the proximity to the entertainment industry. You know, film, TV, music, radio...all the biggest UK/European acts are produced right here. And in the case of game shows on television, they ask for live studio audiences, same as in the US. It's only now that I've lived close enough to the studios to be able to participate. Since these shows air once a week (or whatever it is) and since there are so many of them, they give away free tickets to participate.

I was invited along to see 'Million Pound Drop' and, never one to turn down an offer to try something new, I obviously agreed to go. I knew nothing about the show or the process or even modern television, for that matter – I’m pop culturally retarded, I admit it often – but it was an opportunity I wouldn't even consider passing up. In fact, I actually canceled other, less unique/interesting plans so I could go ;)

3 Mills Studios, where the show is shot, where we waited outside

The night the show was to air was bitter, freezing cold. So naturally I dressed inappropriately for the weather, as I always do. When will I learn it's better to look bulky and fat than be cold? Admittedly, probably never. Though in all fairness neither of us anticipated standing in line to get in for an hour or so. Thankfully, of the two of us, I was the one with the coat. Ten minutes into our wait I was frozen solid. 30 minutes in we'd been huddling for warmth but I was still visibly shaking from the cold. After the hour I was delirious and numb. Finally, though, with much pomp and circumstance, they led us in small groups into a briefing room (where it was all I could do to focus my eyesight, contact lenses frozen to my eyes and all, let alone pay attention). 

same, from a different angle.

A momentary thaw, and then we were back outside, marching to another room, a giant hall where they stripped each of us of all our belongings minus only the clothes on our backs. Another hour was spent in an adjacent room, another waiting room of sorts, prior to entering the studio itself. After we'd all assembled, after we'd thawed as much as could be expected, they led us back outside, this time coat-less. Just before my body rejected life entirely, we were rising up the stairs above the set of 'Million Pound Drop'.

Everything hovered 20-30 feet off the ground including all the platforms the contestants and the audience stood on. It reminded me a of something potentially from Star Wars, a giant floating platform in the middle of the room. For the next hour I felt like I was back on stage as a chorus member in a show, learning and rehearsing a scene, where to move and when, how loudly to clap and how fully to react to the primary scene – the game show, front and center. Despite the fact it was about 9PM everyone on the set was upbeat and lively, including myself. I became entirely preoccupied by the action and the surroundings, even before filming actually began, to even consider the discomfort I'd experienced for the first few hours.

Davina

Then we were introduced to the host of the show, Davina McCall, a super cute British lady who's actually quite famous, I hear. Interestingly enough, her children's school teachers were members of the audience that night. Two sets of contestants compete every night the show airs, apparently. The first set is always a celebrity duo, typically attempting to raise money for a charity. We saw the BBC radio comedy pair, Chris Moyles & Andi Peters, compete.

Chris and Andi

This is how it's played:

Contestants are given their prize at the top of the show - a million pounds in CASH. All they have to do is keep hold of it! Just eight questions stand between the contestants and their chance to take home the prize. This is played out on the Drop - a fiendish device with four trapdoors, on which the answers to each question are displayed. Contestants place their money on the trapdoor they think displays the correct answer. They can spread the money across the trap doors if they aren't sure. If the answer is wrong, the money they placed will fall through the doors to be lost forever. Just one wrong move could literally see thousands of pounds drop through the floor. Also, the Play Along game is available to play online during live shows.

There I am, the full face you can see in the second row!

It was actually a hugely entertaining show and since it's a game show you can kind of play along and guess at the questions yourself and pretend you're getting to play, too. The questions focused heavily on current events, meaning things that happened that same day. And the answers are quirky and seem almost ridiculous, making it pretty tough to select the right answer sometimes.

I was going to put up a link to the episode we were on but you can't watch it from the US. Bummer, dudes.

Then, different day with a different friend – who was aware (and accepting of) my constant singing throughout the day – we went to an American-themed diner place, fully equipped with bowling lanes and karaoke rooms. I was, however, unaware of the plan for the evening prior to our arrival. We showed up at All Star Lanes on Brick Lane and I assumed we were going bowling after we passed the diner section (which I was grateful for because I don't think I could've stomached anything on the menu). I was willing to suck up my sense of personal space and hygiene to don a pair of bowling shoes, though, if that was indeed the plan. We walked up to the shoe rack/cashier girl who, surprisingly, handed us a pair of microphones instead of shoes and then led us into a small room off to the side...our own personal karaoke room! 

She wished me a happy birthday, handed me a birthday card, and left after setting the songbook on the bench. My friend told me they'd asked if it was a special occasion when he booked the room and he just told them it was my birthday because places in London always give out free stuff when it's someone's birthday. And indeed, inside my birthday card with a seductive 50's-looking pin-up girl drawing on the cover (see right) was a coupon for free birthday girl cocktails at the bar. Someone even wrote me a little birthday-well-wishing note in the bottom corner.

So basically, my friend told me you could rent these mini karaoke rooms out for parties, etc, but he thought I'd be more comfortable practicing in front of a small audience (of one) before I got up on stage to do the real deal. Plus, this way you get to sing as many songs as you want without having to get on a waiting list to take your turn. On one side of the room was a little screen for the song selection and display. Cushioned benches surrounded the other three walls and a disco ball spun on the ceiling at a predicable pace. 

This was the room, but no, that's not me.

I was first up to sing and rocked out Avril's 'When You're Gone' with enough punk and precision to impress. Believe me, you can get WAY more into it in that kind of setting. And I agree, that was the perfect warm up routine for the real deal....next time.